Where is your blood capillary?

As Mark was two years old, due to pneumonia, he had three times stayed in hospital for one week. In order to give him an injection, it was really a difficult quest for nurses to find out the right position to feed. An experienced paramedic could usually hit the target within 3 tries, but if Mark was treated by a fresh nurse, then it would absolutely be a disaster.

I would never forget his helpless scream when a young nurse had tried ten times but still missed his blood capillary. Mark struggled heavily trying to get rid of my hands fixing his arms. Having tears floating in my eyes, I couldn’t help being angry at the nurse’s awkward and asked for a senior one to handle it. Not until the thirteen try did the nurse give him a successful injection.

After such a horrible "torture", Mark was so tired that fell into sleep quickly and deeply. Looking at his innocent face, I realized that the most heartbreaking thing was to see your beloved suffering but you couldn’t do anything.

Do you love me?

Mark asked his mother, “Do you love me?”

“Absolutely.” she answered.

“What of me do you love?”

“I love your fat legs and round buttocks."

Then my wife asked Mark, “Do you love me?”

“Yes.” he answered.

“What of me do you love?”

“I love your eyebrows, “ meanwhile his fingers stroked her eyebrow and then moved downward, “your eyes, your nose, your lips, and your nei-ne (bosom).”

Could you image such words were told by a four-year-old boy who was still wet behind the ears? How should I describe him? A honey speaker, a romantic bastard, or a flirt? A fortuneteller said he would get married at an early age. I hadn't taken it into serious consideration. However, I have started to worry about that.

Then I asked him, “Do you love me, Mark.”

“I love you, papa.”

“What of me do you love?”

All of a sudden he appeared awkward and changed his answer, “I don’t love you.”

Who should be responsible for it?

One day Mark lost his favorite train. He asked me to help him find it out but I refused. Then he cried.

"Who played with the train? Who lost it? Who should be responsible for it?" I asked.

Mark wept and answered "me" three times in a quiet voice.

"Listen to me," I saw him still weeping and said, "Mark, I bought you that train and hoped you could cherish it, but you lost it. It's me that should be angry instead of you. If you cannot take care of it, nobody can help you. Remember you have responsibility for all your toys. I know you are quite sad. I can wait for you to recover, okay?"

He nodded his head and ceased crying gradually.

How to help Mark take a bath

The first time I helped Mark wash himself was entirely a disaster. He was less than 2 years old at that time when the evil human instinct was just awaking little by little. As I finished washing his head, I turned on the shower and washed his chest. All of a sudden, He cried loudly and shouted like an alien so I bathed him in a hurry. Not until few years later did I figure out what had gong wrong.

Practice makes perfect. Now I have concluded a technique to avoid Mark’s tears bursting forth like a chemical explosion.

You have to inform him first about ten minutes before and then the bargaining begins. He always asks for five more minutes before going into the bathroom. To promise a candy to him might shorten the time of negotiation. Remember one golden law: the higher price you pay, the better result you get.

Never become slack after you successfully lure him to the bathroom. Filling the bathtub with water, taking off his clothes as quickly as possible, washing him from hair to toenails, and putting him into the bathtub are the four steps in bathing Mark. The reason why he cried when I first bathed him was I forgot to clean his face after washing the head and before washing the body. He was so logical as to be aware of any change to the procedure.

To help Mark have a bath is like dealing with a bomb. Any mistake causes a terrible explosion. After hundreds of times training, I am now a pro handler and always land on my feet in the end.

My son, I believe you can!

Mark had enjoyed his kindergarten life until once he got wounded on the face. He refused to go to school in the next morning. According to his statement, an older child called Bao provoked him first by laughing at that he was unable to climb a tree and then they started fighting.

He also acknowleged that Bao was persona non grata in school. He behaved rude and arrogant because his mother is the chairperson of the kindergarten.

After listening to his clarification, I pondered for a long while. Should I speak to the teachers and the chairperson - the defendant's mother?

This is not the first time Mark has collided with his classmates but it is the first time he has been so unwilling to go to the kindergarten where he used to brook no delay to go after he opened his eyes in the morning. Hence, I understood it really meant something to him.

Those who get burned are all afraid of fire. I had better adapt some emergency measures to prevent this fear from growing inside Mark. On the other hand, I think there is a nature law in children's relationships with one another. The more parents are involved, the more distorted it is.

Truly, I can neither stay with my son nor protect him forever. The most important lesson that he needs to learn from frustration is to cheer up and face the music. If one loses confidence, one loses him/herself. One's confidence is rooted on the sense of being loved. So, I gave Mark a big hug and told him,"

No matter if you can climb a tree or not, I will always love you to the end of the earth."

After coming home from school, I asked Mark if any thing was wrong between him and Bao. He said in a careless tone, "Bao laughted at me again today." I was a little concerned, and then he continued, "I told him that I was too small to climb a tree, but I know one day I can."

Barbie fantasy

One day, Mark said, “I want to play Barbie.”

I did not take it seriously and responded spontaneously, “Okay, I will buy you a Mr. Incredible on your birthday.”

“No, I want Barbie, not Mr. Incredible.” His volume turned a little high.

“How about Mrs. Incredible? She can bent her body at will and you can play ‘saving the world’ with her. Which one do you prefer, big or small?” Assumptive closing which I often used to deal with my customers is always a beautiful castle in the clouds.

Nevertheless, Mark was a tough negotiator when he had once made up his mind. Finally, I gave in but requested that he had to be able to recognize 100 Chinese characters and then I would buy him a Barbie doll. I regarded it as a difficult task for a 4-year-old child. It would take a long time to achieve this goal and time can lead to forgeting.

Bittersweetly, Mark became a genius in the name of Barbie and it took only 10 days for him to fullfill this task. As promised, I bought him a doll finally.

It was so weird to see my little boy combing a Barbie doll's hair, taking off her dresses, and talking to her tenderly. He just behaved like a little girl! I started to worry about his sexual orientation. According to developmental psychology theory, a child's sexual identification was develpoed from three years old to five. During this age, the absence of a father will lead to a subconcious damage. Because of my training program, I can stay with Mark only on weekends. I was afraid that I might feel regretful when standing in front of my ancestors someday.

One week later, I realized that I had overreacted. He used Barbie's clothes as a glove and played a fighting game with me. What happened to the doll? It is naked and lies beside the toy boxes.

I was in even more pain

There are three kinds of cries for a child. One is a cry for sadness. S/he cannot help tear up when feeling something painful no matter if it'sphysical or mental. Parents are usually empathic toward this kind of cry. Another is a cry for wishes. S/he uses tears as a weapon to make his/her wishes come true. Sometimes it works. However, its effectiveness decreases rapidly over time. The other is a cry for punishment. This is the harshest one to parents’ ears and the one that parents can hardly tolerate.

Mark went through the three kinds of cries at lunch. As he tasted something peppery, he bursted out into crying. In the beginning, I understood his uncomfortable feeling, and everybody around the table tried to please him. Unfortunately, our efforts were in vain. He cried even louder and I considered it is his artifice to get the opportunity to watch animated cartoons. I told him I would never allow him to watch TV in this kind of situation and warned him if he kept crying, I would leave him alone right away. He responded in a very rude way, so I was totally irritated. I hit his bottom heavily. I thought it was the most effective way to shut his mouth up.

It did work. He bit his lips tightly after a scream. Seconds later, my fingers felt dramatically painful. Then I was worried about that I might have hit him too heavily and hurt him. All at once, I fell into deep frustration and regret.

The story of my son's name

A son is usually a mirror of his father. When I watch my five-year-old son, it seems that a documentary film for my childhood is playing. How could someone be so similar to me? The question is, “ Do I treat him in the way as well as my father did?”

We will go to Germany for almost one year this summer. My son, Mark, has longed for that country since he knew it is a place near Santa Claus’ hometown. Why do I call him Mark? I notice being named Mark in Germany is just like being named New Taiwan Dollar in Taiwan. According to his mother's explanation, he was named after a catholic saint who wrote one of the four gospels. Honestly, there is a secret behind it. When my wife became pregnant, I was reading a story written by Mark Twain. Then I suggested if it was a boy, we call him Mark; if it was a girl, call her Twain. That’s also the reason why we had never planned a second pregnancy. We are afraid that they will be twains.